Stop my Resume!!!!!!

It's the end of the third year and the sixth semester of engineering for most people in my batch and you can no longer see these kind of people at places other than the library and the lab or their coaching centres. No one has a moment to spare...everyone hellbent to deliver that extra bit of work to get that extra half mark to get through that college you could boast to your son about..
Here's a small conversation I accidentally overheard when trying to sleep in the library..
A:"Wordlist mein kaha tak hua??"
B:" Abhi to shuru kiya hai..."
A:"Sacch bol Ch....."
B:"Abe yaar....L tak ho gaya hai"
A:" !@#@!$%^&, tune toh phod phad ke rakh diya..."
---------------------end of conversation---------
Now, A tells me about his wordlist:"Abbe yaar..aur teen din tak lagega complete hone mein.."
(He must have reached around Z somewhere..already)

I must say, very clever..So, now, B is a bit behind A..i.e, A has a better chance now!!!And every one in my college is an A and there are few Bs I must say...

Anyway, that was not what I wanted to tell you all about...It's this HUNGAMA since the last three days about uploading resumes..For the less informed people, a resume is unlike what I thought,not executing something that has been suspended but, it is a summary of one's academic career...And people who want bonded labour find healthier pigs using this resume thing and a few other tests and interviews to finalize whether this pig will yield a lot of meat or not.
Ahh, Resume..Just before the resume fever started a site was up for this thing which showed the name and roll number of all students and to my extreme horror, to the extreme right was also written, their CPI.(grades). I closed my eyes and prayed that some one hack this site down or atleast put a black mark over my CPI section...But 1.6 out of 4 can never go hidden...
Oops!!! I am getting carried away by so much of academic action..Next started the time when you need to make and upload a resume..Normally, I always have my own words for each and every incident and thign, here's where I go speechless and let the resumes talk:
These are listed in the personal achievements column of the resumes of my batchmates

handled hospitality of guests of Synapse
(Does that mean he makes a great waiter??)

Selected amongst top 1% of 24,000 students in NET-2002 held for admission to DA-IICT, Gandhinagar.
(what about the other 240 students ...? did they come in through some back door??)

Member of Women’s Cell, DA-IICT
(I swear, I never knew that such a cell existed)

Got 32nd rank in Ramiah entrance examination
(Now, Ramaiah is an exam held for the coaching of IIT...Gettin 32 in it is quite an achievement...)

Awarded the `Best Student of the Month` award
(12 months a year, 10 years in school..For one month, if I did my homework well, I could have written another personal achievement in my own resume)

Selected in IIT-JEE 2002 Mains
(Do U realize that hundreds or thousands of people did that??BTW, me too)

Took part in many general knowledge competitions in school.
Active sportsperson in school.
Received many certificates of appreciation in school
(Now Now....Since when has participation become an achievement??)

Was member of the winning team of Treasure Hunt
(Some contest this was!!!!! The winners got coupons that were expired and I was part of the team too...I forgot it was to be written down in the achievements column)

Got prices in many GK competitions
(U got prices???????????OH MY God...I thought you get good prices at the nearby grocery store...)

Third Prize in aero-gamy (Paper aircraft flying competition) at Synapse
(A paper aircraft is a folded piece of paper..The one that travels most distance wins first and then follow the 1st and 2nd runners-up...I bet an amazing video of the amazing paper plane would be a lifelong achievement cum memory.)

Begged First position in the interschool science quiz
(I did not know you could beg in quizzes...If only I knew this before...I could have
begged certainly and shamelessly everywhere for prizes..)

Secured a Prize in an IQ Contest in IX
(Now, ....It is a personal achievement if you still remember that event ..right?)

More to come, No credits of this can be attributed to the author of this blog as this
was the result of a group discussion though the comments flow straight out of my heart.


Passed the Introduction to North Indian Classical Music optional elective in the 2nd semester.
(Ohh!!!!was such a course really there?????)

Received a third prize in writing a program to develop a Love Calculator in Calc Competition organized by the EHC group of DA-IICT
(Cannot comment)

Articles written for the college magazine ICTian
(---)


Secured certificates of Successful participation in 3rd National Science Olympiad, Young Mathematician Contest, Maths and Science Competition, NTSE.
(ROTF...participation certificates sure are a lifetime achievement for us losers)

Participated in extra- curricular activities.
(Very good!!Keep it Up)

Received certificates of merit since LKG to class 10th every year. • Love poetry. Won a prize for writing in school.


Dumb Sherrards competition
("Dumb Charades".....I thought I was the worst)