Friday, June 17, 2005

Classifieds

Needed:

"A very HOT female with a decent pair of assets and with a strong determination and ability to reach the top. It is also required that this hot female has a bit of brains enough to acknowledge the immense sense of humour hidden in me. Hot Females with Brains kindly oversee this advertisement. It is also required that a bit of emotion exist in the female.applicants please note that if a previous history or a string of relationships exist, than kindly avoid applying. Also, It is a strict rule that unlike the new and popular emerging trend of homosexualtiy, a heterosexually vigorously charged female is only welcome. Kindly apply at A202,DAIICT"

Now...Where do I put up this ad??? Outside the girl's hostel? Outside a ladies toilet?? Outside the nearest multiplex?? And how will I filter the applicants and select them? How come other guys get HOT females without advertising....Do I need to use some marketing skills??? Should I put up another ad saying " NO Problem, if U like staying NAKED".

As I hear and see everything, I can only say that I am entirely in a male world. Is this the end of my heterosexual road? My mom hates seeing me with girls. Wonder what people want.As I lay on my bed, every night I wonder, what if humans were unisexual?
That is, there was only one class(aka sex) and then there would be no more desperation and no more diversions..there would be no one standing in front of you hand in hand and leg between leg with their partner..... Unilke what most people think, life is short..really short, ...two more years down the line, my required organs might get rusted and wasted....seee...this ...is precisely the reason why a few people go around raping eligible females...they do not know how to put up ads and invite people...If only I was a T.V. star, it would ahve been a different story.. But then, can I avoid the stupid sting operation??? what if I was a writer? A young fiction writer with a strong philosophical background, like Salman rushdie?How about one of those photographers who shoot models "artistically"?? not a bad choice for a career...Earlier, as people told me, I thought perseverance was the answer...BUt now the answer is clear and is ringing in my head.. Beware HOT eligible females, if u happen to pass on a lonely road...Lusus naturae might be lurking around the corner. Kindly do not carry anything sharp, electric or/and dangerous...As I have but one life..And kindly use the keyword--"Scoot", if you are not willing to submit thyself to the great Lusus.
All Married,fat, females kindly excuse.
Other females, though, not too hot, too are invited for the offer and an occasional glow of care, affection,love and scant brain might just turn out to be the best combination.

14 comments:

shaan said...

pervert mind !!!
but u still remain GOD !!
Raj man wait .. ur bestest person nebody cna meet :)

shrek said...

ohhhh!! what will your mom say? b-(

Gururaj said...

@ Shaan: Lemme hear that from one ....ONE Girl and I promise to stop all my bad habits startiing one by one....

@Shrek: Mom thinks I still dont know the concept of how a child is born..

Arpit said...

LOL!!
i feel so good.. wherever i look, the waves of desperation are around the corner.... our brotherhood of desperate singles is simply on a desperate high!!! :P
hey i was in marketing, letz market the ad of urs :D. but first of all we gotta do sumthing abt the skewed ratio of boys n girls in our coll, which is forcing many to turn to homsexuality!! :P

Jayant said...

Hilarious man!!
one just can't help getting addicted to ur sense of humour!! gr8 work!! keep going!!
and i wish from the depth of my heart that u find ur perfect "scant brains" match and that u don't have to resort to homosexuality! :P

Anonymous said...

maybe after a month u cod add one more clause... gal having a job with heavy package as we sure as hell never gone make to the interview... either we would be sleeping off or screened off in a written exam...

by the way while u are screening jus keeping mind to select some extras... u know i am lazy too even wrie an ad myself...

Y.M. said...

ahem!ahem!ahem!!!...
now wat m i supposed to comment on dat...is dis post meant only for guys??
just a piece of advice...the day u ll stop waitin for "ur gurl"...you ll find her...i mean u ll find her when u least expect it to...till then..enjoy with the same sex!!

Gururaj said...

@Jayant: Future luks bleak...

@Mphaxise: atleast get the ads printed, I 'll stick them outside the NIFT gate with an additional one sundae free for every1 who applies..


@Shikha: So, Is there no chance that people might b attracted by my lucrative ad??? :(

Anonymous said...

dont kid yourself raj, every1 sez they'll lose their bad habits if their one wish is fulfilled...never happens. we're never satisfied :)

besides, it will take quite some doing to fulfill that one wish if I revealed to everyone about your insane/psychotic bouts of underwear arson in public.

Golden Words said...

hot female has a bit of brains
NOT BORN YET!!!

Bhavesh said...

try puttin up the ad on the T-Shirt u wear :P, the first line will b gud enuf, i guess.
i read somewhr dat women run away from desperate men, so b careful wid the signals u send :D.

lol, i can start a consultin company for datin.

Unknown said...

@bhavesh: show one girlfriend you have, or one gf-bf pair that you have united, and i'll gladly be your first client for the dating consutation company...


but seriously man, raj cracks me up...it's a shame on womanhood that they are missing out on you...and of course your insane sense of humour :P

Anonymous said...

@confused-if bhavesh had already united a couple, then how the hell can u be his "first" client?hehe..dude only sarcasm, no humour??
@raj-shikha seems to be promoting homosexuality...

Gururaj said...

ROTF...Nice one Amod..And Bhavesh, how bout a few good tips then?? Like should I start bathing daily? or start changin clothes atleast alternate days???
Confused boy, I am overwhelmed..:D