Sunday, April 17, 2005

SEn is all around you and now the feeling grOWS

Morning 2 am:
Rahul says: Sen viva tomorrow be, lets do some ground work so that we dont remain the usual victims.
Me: Right be, we have too many weak links.Lets not be the weakest.Hang on, I'll just come back and then we'll start off be.
Rahul:hokay, come bak soon and lets study all those slides.

2 hours later

I come back to his room and there are no lights and the massive behind is resting on the bed!!!
getting back to fifa, I thought was the best way to keep awake and I could always complete the SEN thing in 3 hours. Do u realize that in FiFA, israel could beat Brazil??????

7 am: Finally realization dawns that nights outs , SEN and me are the worst combo. "Sleeping now would be like putting my face up a shark's mouth and then pouring some ketchup in."

Blah..blah...and finally after a lot of ruckus, the viva starts sharp at 2. Asim first calls out all the names before he finalizes his personal favourites for the victims post. He first picks Sagar who fluently puts up a show that even impresses the bastard. While Sagar was explaining about the salient features of our project,I slowly started drifting into my own dream land where the viva had gone well and I was nominated for an oscar for the best SEN project member, when Asim brought me back to real life by shouting out my name. Here, I would like to make clear that my name is not at all hard to pronounce and when people start huffing and puffing to do that I normally get angry--Guru Raj is probably the easiest to pronounce after Kaam Kaaj. Anyway, so I looke towards him raising my hand, so that he finds me in the crowd of ten. Calling me to sit near him, he then asked me to go on with the explaining part. Though I admit quite mdestly that I work a lot in all projects, this was the first exception and this also was the first viva where me and the prof, both were looking and feeling the project for the first time at the same time. Without further adieu, I started testing out all the features and on the basis of what happened next with the click, I told him what was supposed to happen. It was perhaps the most professional and morbid way to explaing things and people in my groups started noticing that I was going just too slow and too dull. Gupta, the primary key and Devang, part of the Gupt-Dev-Manu Composite key headed straight for the mouse and started making things work as they planned. Here, I was , for the first time, without doing any work, and still all was going well.. If only I could pat myself..Satan loves me so, he thought it was time for him to attack and showed up a new error in the project which the coders had never seen before. Ta Da, Asim boy springs back to life and says, This is terrible
Our Leader, Manu: no problem sir, musta been some small exception that we forgot to handle. tis because we were up till last night completing the code part(when the last date was 7 days ago)
Asim: This is even worse, this is not what I expected of you.
Ravi Pokharna, the king of my SEN group cannot stop his lower jaw from moving and so he started citing reasons for all the mess which made the whole thing messier. I stood like a joker in male audience infested circus with a stripper dancing behind me. There was no way I could make Asim look or talk to me. He was now interested in new people and new discoveries. He struck the first speck of gold with Shikhar.What are the baselines of your project?
That was the first time I heard such a word and so decided to act smart but dumb. So I kept looking at him as if the word was on my lips and it was my tongue that wasnt moving to answer. So, he moved to Shikhar and asked him the same. Shikhar, I must say looks cool, but his patience with indecent sods is not good. So, he said immediately that he had no idea what it was. Then, Asim thought that he finally could have some entertainment. So, he looked up from his position in the chair, staight into the Chin of chin and asked him whether he knew the answer.
Chin looked at him, then at us and then at the screen, as though it could suddenly show the answer. Then, he started out, Sir, there are three modules in our project, the inter module, the ......Just like an automated reservation enquiry system. Realizing that the question and the answer had the remotest possible relation, in that both had the word project in them, Chin confidently kept babbling. A few seconds later, Asim asked him
Asim: So, what did you do in the project?
Chin; Sir, I reviewed some docs.
Asim: Thats all???
Chin: No, Sir, I did the GUI part.
Asim: U alone?
Chin: no Sir
Asim: then wat did you do?
Chin: that...that one sir, the documents and the interface..
Asim: tell me which interface....
Chin: 3 or 4 pages sir
Asim: 3 or 4??? so, ur not sure of wat u have done??/
Chin: Sir, it was later changed by Rahul
Asim: so, was he like ur leader?
Rahul and others: Yes, sir, I was the GUI leader
Chin: yes Sir,
Asim: So, did he like assign you jobs and you did them??
Chin: Sir,...It was like doing work Sir, We worked sir, and we did the interface..
Asim: Did you submit all ur jobs in time???
Chin : Yes, Sir
Asim: all???
Rahul: Yes, Sir, He did.
Asim:Tell me...........
Chin: Almost all Sir...
Asim: Almost..???
Chin: Except one or two..
Asim: thats all?
Asim: Any proof that what you speak is true?
Chin: Sir....thats all Sir
Manu: U can look at his time sheet Sir
Asim comments on the time sheet and ridicules our project and tells us that it is the worst one of all the vivas he took.
Not satisfied with that much, He caught Shiki and asked him why his time sheet says Meet with Asim 2 hours
Shiki: Sir, it was a long meeting
Asim: U never stayed for 2 hours
Shiki: Yes Sir.
Shiki: But Sir, We could not find you free, so, had to wait for an hour.
Asim: So, u included that in your time sheeet.?
Shiki: Yes, Sir.
Asim: very Bad.
Asim: forget it, Now tell me if you are all satisfied with this project?
Giri: I am not satisfied Sir
Asim: Y, may I know?
Giri: Sir, I had to go away to home bcoz of 2 emergencies and so couldnt do the coding.
Asim: lets say we rewind the whole thing, then what would you like to change?
Giri: Sir, I had to go away to home bcoz of 2 emergencies
Asim: ok, if u did not go home, then.....
Giri: Sir, I wanted to do the coding part of the project sir, but gupta did not allow me...
Asim: did not allow y?
Asim: Did he say that Coding kya karega, Documentation karle?
Chin: Sir, I am not satisfied sir. There is a problem with the SDS doc.
Asim: SDS, wats an SDS?
Chin: Sir, System....Dez........System..Design.....System....
Asim:?????????????????????
Chin: Mumbles, something and then. Sir, in that doc there is some problem with the updating part Sir. The databse is not properly updated and not properly documented.
Asim: who did the database design?
Rahul: me sIR
Asim:So??
Asim: no reply, ...this project gets opening more worms as I dig more
I cannot ask any more qs,

10 comments:

shaan said...

very true be Raj !!
u people got nicely screwd !!
abe 1 whole sem and u donn know baseline ..................
who is chin ????????

Gururaj said...

Baseline...
big crime,
Better stay in mime

Naresh said...

Nice be! Both the viva n the wrtng... I mean itz entertaining:P
Btw, my viva went fine 2!!!

Gururaj said...

TQ...Can say so for the xam to come too...

Gupt said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Gupt said...

nicely written Raj.
But dont u feel that stupid viva is becomining more public and entertaining to others!!!

Arpit said...

well written .. my viva followed the same suite as urs .. asim f*cked us inside out. could see 3 months of hard work go into drain just like that *sob* *sob* *sob*

Gururaj said...

it's all dependent on whihc side the coin flicks when tossed

Bhavesh said...

whoz Chin?
Come one, come all; Asim fucks all.
btw shaan, our SEN finals r over and i guess no one knows abt baseline. :D

Gururaj said...

Chin
:
chinthalapathi Vinay