Sunday, March 31, 2013

How to know more about a phone from it's name

My Pagan beliefs about phone nomenclature:
Whenever I see an HTC phone, I believe I am looking at an HTC one. And more often than not, my belief turns out to be true. After enough ones, I thought I should visit their site and see what all names have they given to their phones. And What do I see, hordes of phones all called one. I mean, how can you have more than one one? And then there is desire. There are enough desires with HTC that I can safely believe in phone polygamy.



Onto Micromax: Choosing a micromax phone is like deciding how many naya paisas we want to shell out. I mean A116 > A 87 and so on. I believe they have a simple strategy if you want to buy a phone. Arrange all their phone models and sort them. (remember, it takes n*logn only). Then do a binary search using our maximum budget versus price of the selected median.

Next comes YOLO: or was it XOLO. I guess the two strings are too close for comfort. But if they still chose the name, I guess they might as well appeal to the YOLOs buy saying XOLO because... YOLO. XOLO goes with a prefix [A, B, Q, X]. My understanding: A for android, B for android, Q for quad core android and X for intel android. How do we choose a YOLO phone? Again put them all in a sorted fashion. Enter max price feasible and perform binary search independent of the prefixes. Why, you ask? YOLO.

But of course, our favourite Samsung needs to be in this delectable list too. Samsung: If you own a samsung phone and it dont have a galaxy substring in it, it dont have swag, dog. What suffixes do we have for our galaxy? Wait, why is it galaxy? Coz these phones work only in the milky way duhh. Sound fine. So galaxy ace, beam, chat, S followed by increasing numbers and prices + added advantage of chronological ordering(got lost, oops),  y, not(e) and wait for it: a minimal set of non-galaxy variety too: they are called wave. I guess you need to wave your hand and call out people when it doesnt pick up enough signal.

What about the android majors google? I guess most logical: start with the word nexus, add up 4, 7 or 10 according to approximate screen size.

I love Nokia's naming schemes: the windows ones are called lumia because they light up your life with their art and for people who lose their phones, niraasha ki zaroorat nahi as there always is aaasha, a phone you can buy with a student's stipend.

Apple doesnt sell phones older than 2 releases I guess: so you have iphone (insert latest number) and iphone (decrease last inserted number by one) . Simple and hassle free as that is what an iphone buyer is interested in, I believe.



Sony: it has GOT to be an Experia. and all blame on that mango juice ad that even when Katrina throws water on the phone, all I can imagine is why is a phone being shown in a mango juice drink advertisement?


3 comments:

Unknown said...

Gururaj is Back!!!

Hahahahaha... awesome post. and yes, very relevant right now, as i need to buy my own phone finally. And am veering more and more towards nokia lumia. (i know! i know! the blasphemy!)

A said...

great post haha never thought about the mango thing

Gururaj said...

Posted this before hitting the dense forest interviews. But why Lumia? might at well think of the I then, no?

@A : You need to watch more Indian TV :)