The Unreal

I looked out of the train compartment, eager to get the air in my face. Something was travelling, somewhere around 3x 100000000 m/s, and then.......Splotch. It was all over my face. The treacherous alienatic scum.

a paan stained spit.I looked down and tried not to look embarassed. I shouted in the air to let people know that I would av bashed him up if he were anywhere near me. Then I took up the king's position, The one right in front of the sink, and slowly dozed of to slip near the forests of Mirkwood.

As I walked through the deep dark forests, trying to find my dwarves, suddenly someone cast a spell on me, an indian curse rather, in my english dream, he threw some holy water and I woke up,ready to run away... And then I saw that..The people, the suitcases, their wet faces and the rest of the water over me. Angrily, I walked back into my Mirkwood forest wondering if bilbo had ever had sex with elves in Mirkwood. You can bite a bit of the ears off the elves and then,... Hmm mmm... they will be perfect.

The First few days of my G-a-y life.

Not in my hands anymore. It was in the hand of the guy sitting beside me in the bus. My poor sleepy head was detached from my phallus in its state of nidra and the subtle movements and my sense of touch which revived me helped me up and out and out is out of the bus. Two train tickets later, I learnt the real real truth. Everyone loved to put my sex as a female, it is useless to fight, I have perished, I have given up my manlihood. (My manly hood is for sale.Drop in a call if you are interested.)

Hitch Hike

My destination: sarkhej
my means: Anything
My mission: to reach destination.

Empathy was the word for the day as each and every vehicle driver looked at me for a loooong time with caring eyes,slowed down, made me run upto him and then drove off.
Finally a truck slowed down and the sdriver shouted" sarkhej".

No place inside. He made me sit in the sun where bricks and cement are genreally transported. Burning to death, I decided to lie down in the small shadowy are and observe the traffic. All i could see where lots of heads, some small, some huge, some blue, some black... some hairy, some scary... Heads heads and heads......
There was this scooter guy who kept poking his head out of his helmet, shouting at everyone and then putting it back in place. Next, there was a cyclist, who is actually the protaganist here. He had a radio in one hand which was placed near his ear and he was humming a tune while cycling. Our truck guy, had stopped the truck, trying to find reasons to drive on, or motivation rather, as a btp student shall say. He was involved in a bery enjoying discussion with other hitch hike mates, when one of them said something, handed over some money when he said "bhaaada apoo", and twisted the door open.
Our poor cycle guy, mean while oblivious to the atmosphere in the truck was super happy, at getting the chance to overtake a truck. Off he went to the left of the truck, and now I could only see the head, with dirty hair, brownish streaks.

As he crossed me away, for a moment he was going at a very normal speed, and the next moment, he disappeared... Ans someone got down the truck. Never had I seen such an intriguing phenomena in my whole 21 years. So, I got up and ran to the edge, to lean over and get acquainted with the current developments. I could see a cycle , a radio and nearby, a man sprawling on all fours. The door, was opened at precisly the same moment, the cyclist decided to overtake the door of the truck. A long list of highly censored words followed the bump of his head, at the end of which he kicked the truck as a part of his revenge and then finally, drove off his cycle showing that he was still victorious.

Rebel!!!

Know what!!!! That's what people think of 'people' who have underperformed or over rated or underestimated or judged the necessity of things. I have stooped low enough to laugh at my fate, atleast at some times. That gives me enough space to fall in the large void sucking everyone dry of any hope or ambition or power to keep the thinking switch on. Everyone is continously being put in the transmorgifier,or something that Calvin made out of the open cardboard box. We are all put in private individual cages and daily our powers are pulled away, unkowingly. Its like running through your head, searching for some keywords and removing them completely.
What actually should have been there is completely missing...Everywhere. It has been pulled away from the head and now, no one can think of it. 'It never was there' according to everyone. I have stumbled out somehow and now, I have been caught and put back again..

The brain refuses to comply with the outer powers and I fight against the great monsters as I wait for a new day to dawn. A day where I am allowed to dream. A day where I can think and I can think, a day where my identity is not established. I am waiting for my spring. the piper's calling me to join him. Mass hypnotism moves everyone out of their heads and makes them head towards the destination.
When all are one and one is all, there remains no one. There will remain no you, no me..There will remain no names. There will remain no mistakes. There will remain no powers. We will stop talkin, stop writing and stop thinking.
In my thoughts I have seen rings of smoke through the trees and the voices of those who stand looking. They just look on as the fire takes over and captivates my soul. Am I the only one struggling here??
I give up myself, my posessions, my moments, my memories and my life, but my struggle.. I will struggle till the last synapse stops working. And people, people who look on, do not bother to show sympathy. Look at yourself, you too are withering.
And for the record, I have no idea of style, or design, so stop calling me names. Let me die in peace please.

Matheran-walker's paradise

Walk for 8 hours straight, each some chocoloate fudge and chikki and then, catch a train from lonavla to karjat and from karjat down ahead to neral, a few kilometers from those billions of busy bodies in mumbai and you are near the foot of a hill station that cannot be traversed by any buses. Up you go by sumo, who droppes you at the gate of the hill station(giristhan) for a fifty and paying a tax of 25 to enter the town, you get in to find only one mode of transport-Horseback.
The first thing that caught our attention as we walked in was a flying squirrel. Next we found a guy with exquisite fotos of a resort who kept running with us, pleading us to have a look. The price, five hundred per day for a cottage with two rooms, A COLOR T.V.and what more could we want. Walking for another half an hour, we finally reached aa run down place, on the outskirts with a very bad pool table and fully wooden custom made t.t. table. switching on the T.V, we spent half a day with it when the stomachs started rumbling and off we went under the able guidance of Praneet to the local bazaar, where we found this only hatke restaurant with hookahs hanging around. with dirt cheap prices, we ran in to gorge on the fabulous food and then we realized it was already evening. Off we ran to the sunset point, a gory cliff that should things we saw only in animated or highly graphically manioulated movies. As praneet put it, it looked like the planet of apes. Everything below was foggy, and all we could make out was the faint outlines of nearby hills and the sun too disappeared, the orange ball gliding between heavey clouds depriving us of watching its magnificinet descent between hills. Slowly we walked back in the darkness, the forest really errie and we really scared, with no lights anywhere, we somehow reached back the 'resort', and got back to the major activity of pool and t.v.
come day two, we were all charged up to discover the rest of the matheran and andother 5 hours of walk followed in the place where one never tires. A silent night with people already mourning the fact that they had to leave, the coming morning was the one when we had emptied most of our pockets and had to get to bombay and thus, to ahmedabad.

Official guide:

Get down at Karjat, catch a train to Neral and then a sumo to Matheran. Then ask for Green Hills resort, the cheapest one I believe.
Food: Nothing beats Hookahs and Tikkahs
Must try: Masala Thums up, Kokam juice.

Monkey Incident 1:
Sarat chandra is brutally attacked by a monkey with spots, and hand in hand the monkey tries hard to take advantage of him(by stealing his bag).
Monkey Incident 2:
A walnut was kept in the hall and a monkey saw it from a window, ran through the door , jeered at us and ran back with the walnut.

p.s- non-monkey lovers keep off, neutral people can still adjust.

Darkness:
No lights, no house, no development, too much scenic beauty and forgetting the path back are things that usually happen up here. So, it is suggested that you carry along a torch.

Tell me if you go to this place. It will be a memorable experience, with memorable in bold.

Some words I like

baadko(low level abuse accepted without much retaliation generally. Useful when not intending to start a battle)

laude(me personal favourite. It leaves a smooth sense of cleanliness in the mouth when you use this word)

bulle ke baal(this goes to the extreme. the hairs of the balls are supposed to be highly abusive)

Though not belonging to any place, as I have been to both hyderabad and mumbai, I would like to enlighten people with asome keywords using which you can fool people into believing you were born and brought up somewhere among the two.

Haw: A simple nod, sometimes is not understandable and yeahs and yess can take some time off when there is haw round the corner.
egjample:
Q:Are, tu kahan jaara re? DAIICT ja raha kya?
ans: haw
compact, simple and precise.

kaiku: An alternative for why, it is bound to leave the other guy flustered when you say kaiku.
egjample:
Q:mereku gharaa jaana rai.
A: kaiku?

Nakku: Dont want
egjample: teruku peapsee maangta kya?
ans: Nakku

Waich: reemphasizing on a pre-said statement
Kya bol ra miya?
Ans: waich

This is the world of how, nakku, kaiku and waich.

and then, of course there is mumbai.
patli gali se satak, line mar le, bheedo, kat and more.. you can check them up.

or check this thing I got from wikipedia
Bas kya - Don't take me for granted.
Chava or Chavi - Boyfriend/girlfriend (normally the one that is going steady).
Double battery - A person wearing prescription glasses.
Haila or Aaila - "Oh God".(the aila aila from koi mil gaya)
Paka - Irritate (literally paka means "to cook", so here the word has the sense of "cooking one's brain" to mean irritate).
Atrangi - Something strange or extraordinary.
Chappan tikkli - One with lots of pimples on his/her face.
Tapri - A road side shop.
Chotay, Tambi or Ramu - Any kid working in a tapri (small shop or eatery).
Apun - Me or myself.(One who respects himself shall never use anything other than apun to refer to the self)
Kalti- Get lost or go away.
Kaiko - Why?
Cutting - Though an English word, it is used to refer to half a glass of tea.
Some more examples...

Saalaa - Written commonly as 'sala' or 'saala'. The real meaning is brother-in-law, but is used to address a friend (Abey saale, kidhar tha? - "Where were you, dude?"), criticise/tease/naughtily refer to someone (saalaa chor - "you/that/bloody thief/prankster!!") or as an impersonal reference (Saalaa, apun ka naseebich kharaab hai! - "Hell, my fate/luck is/was bad!")
Boss - Form of address to a friend, unrelated person or stranger.
Kharcha-paani - Literally it means "stipend, pocket-money, bribe or (small) payment". In Mumbai it may also refer to beating up somebody. So depending on context, "kharcha-paani deu kya?" may mean "Do you want me/us to beat you up?" instead of "Do you want me/us to give you some money?". Conversely a person asking for a bribe (or one belonging belonging to the lowest strata when asking for some money) will say "thoda kharcha-paani do" (Give me some money).
Fultoo - Too good or very cool, not to be confused with Faltoo which means useless or waste. Fultoo may also mean drunk depending on context.
Dhakkan - Depending on context may mean "lid" or "stupid".
Dedh-dimaag - Literally "one and a half brains", in reference to an over-smart, dim-wit or stupid person.
Talli - Drunk.
Dedh-foot or Dedh-futya - Literally means "one and a half foot". Usually refers to a short person. May also be a form of irreverent address to a kid.
Chikna - Literally "clean-shaven" or "smooth". Used usually to refer to a male new-comer or teenager, especially in a negative manner.
Gadha-majoori - Literally "donkey work or labour". To signify slogging, boring or heavy work.
Tadi-paar - Means long absence, absconding, hiding or evading the police.
Mamu - Depending on context may mean a police constable or a eunuch.
Waat or Vaat - Derived from Marathi. Signifies "(to be in) trouble". Meri waat lag gayi means "I'm in trouble".
Paan-patti or Tapri - A small shop selling tobacco, cigarettes, toffees and optionally, tea.

more and more mumbaiya here

ChairMan,The

as humans, we have begun to take everything for granted. The Chair, its importance, its essence, and its purpose, as I believe have all been lost and people simply live blind. Think About it. How was the chair invented? It feels pretty obvious that this turned out to be the best way to rest the body. But, was that why it was invented? Was comfort the purpose of a chair?? I,got this brilliant answer-

The chair is a symbol of power.A symbol of respect. Think of ten cavemen with maces in their hands, squatting on the ground. The only way you can make them listen to you is by sitting on the small mound above their "level". And thus rose, the differences in societies. Next came the turn of politics, the fight for the chair, And of course, the chair trend, when people thought that by sitting on a chair they could get power and so, everyone finally has chairs....And thus, by forgetting the arisal of chairs, the human beings are closer to their own end.

A bit humourous, but think about it, may be the chair is why the world is like this now. Why not?

Unlimited Flusher

I have been taken for a ride.
And I loved the ride. So, why shouldnt I be taken for a ride?

Hell Metal

Smokes full of lung...
pollution full of vehicles... Loads of crap heads thinking why I am staring ...
Thinking .......Stoned...........

Let me present Hellmetal

The concept behind the modern day head armour .

You are going on a road and you do not know what happens next..... You can walk, you can drive....
You can die...
Wonder why so many animals keep dying on the roads....
the lack of hellmetal to all living things...

And hey, by the way, to all unstoned people
hell metal was the early name of helmet.
Made from metals available exclusively in Hell...
Needs to be worn by dogs, nilghai and cows to protect from getting killed in freak mishaps..
Help yourself with one from the highway...
Piece of advise to walkers, joggers, trotters and other forms of human begins who travers any form of distance which has an accompanying road beside the footpath:: Keep your Hellmetals on, you never know who is determined to run you down....

Hundreds of forms rushed past him moving in predetermined directions, and swerving only when a collision seemed a certainity. This was the place he ahd been seeing since ten years. A place where dreams were supposed to come true. The place where people carry two hundred tiffin boxes to get two square meals a day. The place where he dreamt a dream. Ten years ago, the bench was stiffer, or did it just seem so? Today, the bench looked like it was melting. He felt like he would go down with it. His neighbour on the bench was busy talking about the rise in shares and his profit for the hour. A few tattered kids were trying to break upon a public phone. The display never failed, ten years.. This display still showed that the train was due in two minutes. Slowly, he rose up from the bench, using all his energy to keep from swaying. He walked towards the platform and looked at the empty rails. The platform seemed deserted. He looked back at his bench. Another form occupied it already. He looked back into his papers one last time and suddenly something caught his attention. What if the function could be of more than three dimensions? what if he could move an object up and down the fourth dimension?? And then, He foresaw something he should not have.....

Axe by the keyboard

He was trying hard not to think about it. A visit to the galla couldnt help it. A string of the so-called laugh-along jokes with others did not help. A long dose of pornography didnt. Each part of the body seemed to tell him that it was the time to take the chance. A small star shone right near the dim tower on a moonless,dark night.
The star was bright, very birght. Hazy at first, but when he kept staring at the star, it kept geting clearer and clearer. His clothes looked like they were worn for ages. A dusty mat lay unfolded beside him and a radio kept yelling old music. He was biting at his last pencil, thinking of a life, which could have been. Should he have tried? Was he the blueprint of a failure? the map to a suicide history.

He strained his eyes to look back into his screen. Though full of symbols, it appeared all blank. Not easy, Not easy, ......

Loads of books were kept on the table.Biographies were neatly stashed in a separate column. The ones that should how each next door guy turned to become the big guy.

Water flowed without a sound into the empty glass. A soft squish was heard as the lemon was crushed into the glass. The dark bottle then was served into the glass.
The screen started stirring. Work was to be done...This should not be the end. The contents of the glass threaded through the dry throat, throwing out heat everywhere. The warmth erased the cold for a moment. but the icy touch of failure could still be sensed.
The night flowed away.

Click click: the new trend

welcome the new generation or rather wave of the 'in people'. The people who do what they do when they need to do it. In other words, all those people who have a new handy instrument cradled safely in their hands.
The camera men can be seen everywhere hunting for the photo of the year, strating right from the hostel washrooms even to the nearest drainage outside college. A serene sunset with no people around will surely make their jaw fall flat and will throw out buckets and buckets of crocodile tears because they missed the kodak moment(due to unavailability of the "CAMERA").

And what do you know? you now have people taking home videos.. Watch out Spiel dude berg, You have serious competition here. Excessive experience and unbelievable spoofability makes their videos a string a hilarious incidents with structured mocking at the originals or even the actors. The poor lead is dragged into what will be an eternal tagname and butchered mercilesssly into megabytes of data that will be transfered at kilobytes per second to the ROTW(rest of the world).

Anyway, back to the camera men. Click Click Click. A shadow out of shape and its there. A dying butt and its there. A flying envelope and its there. You bloody make a face and well...its there...Its digital , its infinite and it shall go on till eternity...No more bothering click sound..but the photo is taken...Big brother camera man is watching, careful dude....kahi nazar na lag jaaye..

"ohh..that's not straight ....ahhh...you have no idea..."I wonder if a kodak moment shall ever be captured again with these pillars of terror persisting in a fight to captur perfectism.
hang on, be right back. no photos plz.