Thursday, May 26, 2005

Anti-Stress pill-Mitra

One exam down and no sleep to spare, not that I burnt the midnight candle, but movies and books made the nght seem less tiresome.And morning came amazingly fast unlike the normal death hours when you keep waiting for each moment to pass through.

Enter Suman Mitra.Two stares at me, and one Vijay Kumar typical smile later, MIB personnel look alike T.A, in disguise, with the power of his hidden instruments seems to have interpreted my "Hi" to K.P, as a huge plot in the making and uncovered it right from the root by making us sit apart by 30 centimeters more.

1 hour past the start, I imagine why I even bought a compass. I was going to blow it anyway. I took the pencil and started drawing anything that crept into my head. Headless ants, 3-legged spiders, 1 legged tables, revolutionary clothes for the next NIFT fashion show, and then, Suman Mitra tapped me gently on my shoulder. I normally stay away from people like that, so I tried not to look disturbed and kept concentrating on the Q paper as though I was desperate to figure out the next answer, when he told me that this was a mistake. I had commited a sin. I was insulting parts of the society and that this should not be done in DAIICT.I was already in a whirlpool and this guy just hooked an achor to my head. But, why?He did not tell me what I had done and I just stared at him.Then he said"I hab sheen yuu yashtardhe alsho bherin the shame theshaart.Phlez do not waer it in the college".


My tee read: Women are like elephants.
Look at them but never own one


And this one is borrowed from Naresh, unknowingly to him, as he placed it openly on the cot and such free clothes in a summer that makes me change atleast once in three days cannot go without my notice

Monday, May 23, 2005

Crucified by the Society

As I lay on my keyboard, struggling to stay away from the world, I see four keys. The four directions. The one that shows itself as the most clear key is the down arrow.I can feel it pulling me in it's direction.Or is it me who is pressing my own down key??I am going down. The battle is on and I do not want to fight. I want to live to fight another day. This battle cannot be won. Not by any human means.

Me: first 5 years of life
I was not very much unlike others, a kid content with his own tricycle, who kept himself moving on the corridor, with speed that never ended, except when pain shot up in the legs and then sleep ended the day. Another day would soon start and it would be no different, there would be the same cycling and crying and sleeping...

Next few Years of life:
to be contd....

Aditi Govitrikar:My fet,a few Feet from my feet

Me, Mohit and Amber stumbled all the way to the NIFT gate and called Anu who promptly came out and calmly asked us to follow her.On the way, there was this 30 odd guy, wo looked like he was a profesional at watever he was.Anu told him that we were her friends and he allow us in. He shouted at the guard"Andar jaane do , Janne do UNHE"...Our hearts leapt with joy. There was military outside and people were selling the passes for 700 rupees...And we got in for free...All credit to Annu with two N's which I keep forgetting.
In the huge swarm of faculty, a few wierdo guys, and lots of eligible girls, we managed to find a spot where we could put four chairs in a line and stand on them without being shouted at. We went in just when the show was about to begin.

The Show:
It was a show of 32 sequences. From 32 students who graduated from NIFT, gandhinagar in FD.Each sequence had it's own say and each sequence, more importantly had the same models which included Aditi.for a start, I have never seen supermodels FTV apart, and this being one of best in India, already had the audience hooting and goring at her...
Anyway, there was this sequence called color me black from which I could never take my eyes off...It was one collection which looked ready to win the prize...It had everyone coming in black bits of clothes with strings around the waist or at the shin and when they pulled them, the clothes fell down to the feet, revealing the other side of the same clothes with different colors...It was like a peacock suddenly opening up it's ....wat's it called?? group of peacock feather's..
All in All, It was a hellluva show....After which I got a free farewell dinner from Mohit which I 'll not forget in the near future....

Saturday, May 21, 2005

Hit and Tell

Imagine you are really angry!!! really really Angry!! Multiple reasons adding more fuel to it.What will you do to find a vent?? Probable Answers I made up:
1.Sleep
2.Weep(goes mostly with girls)
3.Blog and Orkut
4.show your anger on something
5. Try to forget all that happened
I normally prefer number 5...or if the anger is a bit > normal than, mayb I'd end up orkuttin,bloggin, playing games just to forget it..BUt the last two days, nuthing could get the anger out of me. Lemme first explain why I am angry:
1.
While playing football, my knee accidentally brushed against Yashwant's and he got mad and walked all over my naked feet with his studds, and now, if I had a sewing machine I cant sew anymore...
2.
The ball goes over the out line(which is an imaginary line), and I bring it to the notice of the striker who is still running with the ball and he shouts at me.
3.
someone expects me to drop them to the airport for their flight which is 25 km away
4.
My headphones are finally completely converted to inorganic pulp by all the ears that used 'em for all the years.
5.
An old friend, while chatting asks me why I am ignoring the friend, when most of the page was full of my messages.
6.
When I have failed in three courses for the first time and passing seems like a monkey giving birth to a sea horse.
7.
I cant get passes for the bestest best Fashion show in Gujarat that happens only once a year!!!

Anyway,
When I go that angry my mind stops working all together. I can only hit and then tell that I hit coz I was angry.So, Raghu comes and asks me to break his lock when I am in the mood to break things because he lost his key. A few people attempted and couldnt break it already. So, I took a stump and banged the lock for a whole 15 mins before I carved a small hole in the door.
Next I go out of the hostel, find a good sharp stone and attept to break an empty room's window.It cracked. Gud enuf for tht much anger. Next, I find a chair that is broken already and has only three legs. I give it the much needed nirvana by demolishing each part of it.
Finally, at the end of one more day, I called Anu and she says she cant arrange for the passes and asks us to wait outside the college and call her and she'll try if she can manage....thts wen Mohit comes in the evening and said" try karne me kya hain"..NOt bad, I'll soon put up wat happened outside the gate

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Jim Carrey's Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events

Post Football, we made great plans today for a night with all friends. We would go to this wierd Jim Carrey movie in R-World at R world as told to us by Yashwant and Arjun and then wind the evening with a nice dinner at the nearby Dhaba. So, I took a bath in around a minute, ran into someone one the way back, wore the only clothes I could find and we(Me and Movva), set off on a jouney that was to last for 11 kms, at a speed second only to a MIG.

In around 10 mins, we were at the entrance when I found that we were already 15 mins late and declared that so that Movva could pay the vehicle-money-taker guy jaldi. Then, I dropped movva just near the counter and rode into the first inch of space I could get, put the vehicle on the side stand and ran back to Movva who was waiting for me at the counter.Movva was not loking too happy...I thought the tickets had gone constly or may be.., it was a housefull.., Anyway, Movva then revealed the shocking NEWS that there was no such show in R-world at 8 pm. So, we took 2 entrance tickets, went in and played air hockey and then just drifted with the air for a long time, when Akshat and gautam put up the same expression we had on our faces an hour ago, when we met them at the entrance. After a nice fullfilling Dominoes pizza, I called Yashwant who was at City Pulse, where actually the movie was scheduled and so, I asked Yashwant whther there was a show at 10. He asked the ticket-tearer guy who confirmed it and so, Me and Akshat finally decided to watch the movie one way or the other.Gautam was too content after that pizza and Movva was sad and wanted to sleep, so, off we went...25 mins later, we reached City pulse, bought a pack of cigs, and went in running, and once we were at the counter I was already shouting at the the guy behind the counter to make it quickly so that our turn would come quick when Akshat pointed out to something...The schedule showed no Lemony Movie at 10'o clock....Gud'ol Happy Smoking prevented us from Suicide, I can say, that's all

Thursday, May 12, 2005

A=B=Z

Everyone has the same paper in their hand.Everyone has the same head and the same body. Everyone has the same thinking frequency and ability. Everyone has the same head and same needs. There is no way you could pull away one from a hundred people, put him back and again be able to pull him out of the crowd.

Welcome to the Bug world..
A dream life I must say because everyone is at the same state.A life I would love to live. A life where my mind is so small that I cannot realize that I have a head and (perhaps) a brain. A life where suddenly someone is walking and SQUISH!!! I am no more. A life where I can just hide in the fur of some dog and keep feeding on it. A life where I do not know what I am doing.A life where there is no one to tell you to do things. A life where your parents do not pay for your fees and expect you to pass.

Just imagine if your cell phone had life in it... It would lift itself say HI to the caller, ask the other cell phone how it is and may be both fones will keep talking about the charges, connections and battery time or something ....And may be we will never get to talk..
Now, just imagine the opposite. Suppose, we were lifeless matter and maybe cellphones were the creatures that made us and they put up antennas on our heads. And then, when one phone wants to talk to another, they use a VRS that is inbuilt in us and we are now the cellphones for the cellphones.

And then, there are billions of phones watching a football match where, there are 22 footballs and one homo sapien who is hit on and on till he falls into the nets.
Hello, this is 9898596050, I want one human being to change my cover and one human being to transport me from A to B..How much will it cost, 200 talk time?? Deal...


Weird world ....Wonder why we remain the only things to have life....
Hey!!My phone's ringing!!!

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Life without an RJ 45

One finger on Ctrl and another on F5, I kept refreshing the page with a hope that some miracle might bring back the net.But, as usual,I guess it doesnt work that way. Once people submitted their projects and as soon as the deadline was over, Zooooom....The net's out...A blackout would av been better wbut life for two days without internet???UNbearable...
Anyway, so I finally left the company of my PC to roam idly all over the hostel when, I saw S.S(sarath), watching Snatch. Being one of my favourites, I too joined him and got the speakers switched on.As we were watching, we could hear constant purring.S.S thought his speakers had met their end. And I thought he he had a stomach upset. But, still I was intent on confirming the source so, I just scanned the whole room and near the foot of his almirah, the intensity of the sound almost doubled.I opened the door of the almirah to find 4 kittens all, perhaps just born, or may be a day old, and then I remembered, just a day ago, a cat had come to my room, purring and was looking real fat. I thought it ate too much or had some dieabetic problem, but now I rewalized it was pregnant. And had now left 4 cute kittens there. The owner of the almirah D.D hated all these creatures and immediately called the animal lover K.P, who took'em away :(
Have a look at the kittens....

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Kindly increase ur monitor's contrast and brightness settings to see the pix clearly

Monday, May 09, 2005

Bathroom Blues--Again :(

As an exception to my daily routine, today I woke early and early means real Real early..At about 8, I was up and playing fifa and bak to orkutting..With no other work to do and my top notch RI being a huge dream, I decided to work on something more easily achievable..MUSCLEs...The gym looked inviting and glossy from outside but sweaty and extremely breathless from inside.So I thot enuf was enuf and the best thing to do would b to live life today as tho I were a real normal human being. So, finally I brushed my teeth and got ready for my bath, with a soap in one hand and a bucket in the other. Then, I stole a shampoo from an open bathroom and locked my self into the closest one. I wonder why people dont like hot water..But I just love a hot water bath...so, 1/2 an hour and about 10 buckets of water later, I finally thought of coming out and having some food. So, I put back the soap in it's place, closed the tap and reached for my ....Oops!!!! there was no towel...NOw my true genius had 2 ideas...and an alternative 2 gangway ideas...
1. Wait till I dry naturally
2. get bak into my boxers and run bak into my room quickly

------------Or
1. Call someone from my fone and get my towel from them..
2. Hold the bucket to cover the essentials and run back..

1 and 2 seemed easy...The second list mein tho, calling some1 was not easy coz either every 1 was asleep or watchin some movie, so they wud b too lazy 2 hand me a towel..So, I opened the door and took a quick peep to see how many ppl were lookin..Puttin on my boxers, I ran heading straight for my room, much to the amazement of the 20 Radiant Bathroom cleaners who were smoking outside the bathrooms....
And here I am ....now, after a bath..wondering wat to do next..

Sunday, May 08, 2005

Keep Twinkling..Little Star

It was about midnight and I was on the terrace. Resting upon one of the solar heaters, which were full of dirt, not caring, beacuse, they were not my clothes...And NO, I was not touching myself. For a moment, life started looking pleasant. The touch of the cold wind made me feel after a real long time, content, with the way I was. And then, I looked up...thinking what a romantic night is made of. The essence was there right in front of my eyes. A moonlit cum starlit sky with no hidden costs for viewing. Each star had more stars and more stars had still more stars..No star was a single star..The whole sky was like a pizza with the best toppings..only,one couldnt feast upon it with their mouth.There, I was, always, normally wasting my life away, And here, life was showing me how much it had to offer. Normally I do have a keen sense for scenting metaphors for each occation, but for this one, it was just plain priceless..The faint hint of a purplish-yellowish-brownish light at the bottom of the line of sight made it look even precious. There was no audible sound that could disturb me. There was no flow of thoughts in my head. Everything had stopped just for that moment. As I looked into the sky, I felt like it too was looking....Looking at each and every one of us...Looking carefully, with the searchlight from stars..And Then, I could feel its whispers...Yes, it was talking...Must b a hallucination..May b a hallucination..can be one...No...it did teach me something....Something perhaps I can tell everyone someday...

oh and BTW, Alak, if u get to b an astronaut, can I get to be the first creature to land in mars?? like luka the first creature in...hmmm...space??

Friday, May 06, 2005

3 Odes--- to Charu, Rajul and Scooby

Charu
The most eligible senior girl around in campus. Never goes unnoticed thanks to her very colorful clothing. She has been the soul eye pleasing sight for a long long time.(3 years). And now, She is leaving..Leaving the campus...Not that I could go and hit on her, but I am sure people will miss her. From the last few semesters, she is no longer going single, but yet the sheer sight of a female, that can be counted as one has always undeniably given every one some pleasure.
Rajul
Not only beautiful, but also gifted faintly, with a hint of brains, and a good sense towards clothing and talking, this T.A has made us go bonkers in many a course. Sharp at 2, everyone would b present, and there she would be, in front of the whole class, assuming that the class loved to listen to her words, which in fact was a bit true, apart from the fact that, they loved to gape at her.And now, she too is leaving....BuBbye...
Scooby
My first love in the world other than humans. We brought it to our home when it was barely 15 days old and could not even walk properly. One could hide him in his hands at that time. To people who are still wondering who Scooby is, it was my pet pom. And when it came home for the first time, it could not even bark and it had a tail that was still not curling. As for it's walking skills, it could not even walk properly as the poor thing kept slipping on the marble floor we had. Every morning around 5, it would yelp at the top of it's voice, to broadcast it's hunger so that we could give it a pint of milk and take it for a walk after which it would get back to it's favourite sleeping job for the whole day. As it grew up, I must say that it did not spare a single member of my family. It bit everyone, including the neighbours, who jumped across the wall, to greet mom and Dad.But it spared me. It loved me with no limits. When it grew up to look like a cute'walkable pup, with a movable tail, it used to jump onto me when I was sleeping and wake me up so that I could take it for a walk. And then, there was also this day, when it came staggering behind me till my school and I did not even know about it.

When it was about 4 months old, it started strolling around our garden killing ants and squishing small insects.That was the time when a smart feline took the opportunity of it's lifetime. Getting to bite a dog, is perhaps the lifetime achievement of every cat and this one certainly was happy. Our brave Scooby had seen that cat jump into our house and tried to chase it, when it turned back and bit him on his leg, and then!!Scooby huddled back between my feet for shelter and was really sad that it could not keep away the cat. There was also a time when it somehow climbed up stairs to the roof, which were as high as itself and finally came to the roof and barked on me for 15 mins, after which I thought this dog ahd gone crazy and took it down when I heard the fone ringing. Now tell me dogs rnt clever...Also, it always pooped near the house, whose inhabitants I despised. I had this awful bronchitis for about 3 months and my parents thought Scooby was the reason and so, one fine day, they took it away and gave it back to the vet. God Bless u dear Dog..
I love u..

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Dis-Temper

Privacy and Possession...
I need my space..Although, I do not have any space in the hostel campus still even in my friend's room, I feel I need my own space. Anyway, Rahul wanted to get tatkaal and so after playing football in the night, we had to rush to the station in the early mornin at 4:15. And just before that, in the shower, my foot got caught in my slipper and in between the door and I experienced the force of gravity. I dont look at the roof of the bathroom so often and so, when I fell on my arse, as I looked up, just for a moment, I thought, I reached a new world--Moksha, Mukti...I thought I had become the divine...And I was disturbed my Movva, who was shouting in pain, as he was killed(headshot from Deagle). Coming back to the I-dont-know-wat's-next-world, we hurried to the reservation counter. As we were going towards the counter, even without my glasses, I could distinctively make out 3 white mats laid on the ground with bodies beneath them. A split second later, my razor sharp brain realized that dead people do not buy their own tatkaal tickets to their grave and so, this must be something new. So, I asked Bob, who told me that it was people sleeping..There were still 3 hours remaining and we had nothing to do..We were apparently the 7th in the line there.Each minute was trying hard to wriggle across and an hour seemed like eternity..Anyway, finally wen the door was opened at 7:30 all the homo sapiens waiting patiently outside rushed in like I would, if I saw naked chicks inside..We went in a bit calmly, always being assured of the "fact" that we were the 7th and will retain that position.There were twoo beelines, I slipped into the 4th position of the 2nd line and Rahul was thrown out of the first line. Next, the guy behind the counter asks us to sit in the nearby chairs, in the same sequence as we were standing. If you remember the most famous game played at boring parties, That chair..something game.....hmm..yes...The musical chairs, here the music was the counter guy's voice and I was the one left out. Stubborn that I am, I just stood in between two chairs just to show him that this was my place.
It took a whole minute for that """Gentleman""" to come out of his angry stare time and then he asked me how I could just fit in whereever I could. He also advised us to go behind him in the Q.
to be continued....

My already heated up head had seen enough. Although Rahul was trying his best to block me, I was jumping at him with all my censored verbal power and he being poor at bad words perhaps, could not hit back and so waved his fist at me. Realizing that this guy would not understand the middle finger, I showed him back the fist too..And soon, he accepted defeat coz I had the higher decibal level. So, there was still 1/2 an hour left. At 7:45, the counter guy sat back in his chair and the tea guy madea deal with 5th-blue-Jihadi type 1st line man.700 Rs extra for a ticket ..PAkka ho jayega ..aap paise to de do..That's wen I went out to cool my temper and found stickers outside. Stickers that are stuck on the EMS speed post.There were about 20 of'em and I stuck them at even the most remotely possible places one can expect--like Bob's ass, inside a post box, on the window of the P.O, on the train timings board covering the part that showed the time of arrival....When there were 2-3 mins left, theere was this gentleman who was apparently the first to come (one of the sleepin white mat guys), and he was in the 1st line when people threw him out and he came towards the guy in ahead of me and asked himn to give a little space, pushed two people the way lil'Krishna does to trees and rooted himself into the 3rd position. As we are already the infamous pessimisatic duo, and we were already 3 people down the line, we thought we were already not getting tickets..So, no point in throwing one more person out of the way ..And so we waited and we waited till he said:: "Secunderabad, paanch sau sattar+1 rupai do"(I forgot what 571 is called in hindi)

Sunday, May 01, 2005

Day 1: In the mortuary

If death is bad, the grave is worse.
The last paper is finally in the trash and yes, I am free bird till the re-exams.BUt what does a free bird do? just keep flying till it can poop over someone's head?
2 days ago, It needed to b spent and there was never time..Now that there's a lot of time, I dont know how to spend it. Most people who expected to sit with me again for the reexams breezed past comforatbly leaving me in misery. Anil Roy says the last date for the Research internship registration is over. I hit a dog and it tired to bite. There is water all over my floor. I cant wear more than my boxer shorts in this heat. I do not have a guide for my RI. There is no paste and I need to brush. I want to grow a six-pack automatically. I cant find a nail cutter. There's never more money in the wallet than you imagine it to be. There's always less money in the wallet than you imagine it to be. Playing football is not easy and dribbling well and getting across defenders is tougher. But,Breaking your glasses and getting a trickle of blood to flow from the face, just a moment before you think it's got to be your goal is the toughest. Here I was, the-not-a-bad-player, dribbling across 1 guy, Hey!!he's following me, gotta put in some more pace, Yes!! crossed him..Oopsey, one more's in the face, a quick pass and I am still rushin towards the goal at full pace with the ball near my partner's feet who's going to roll it down to the Champ in seconds. The ball finally starts rolling towards me....I believe in wait and kick than hurry and mess up and so, I was waitin ...must b bout 1/2 a second before, I suddenly lost track of the ball from the ground and 0.000123 micro seconds later, A spherical gray scaled object was hurled like a cannon ball towards me with the cannon placed just a metre from my feet. The thing's size was increasing uncontollably and I thought of the many reasons why I did not forget my spectacles back in the room. 0.0000001 seconds later, A small thud later, one nose piece, two glass lenses along with their respective legs could all be found flying in the air opposing everything that newton could think of. And now, here I am inside the monitor, trying to identify what I am typing. Half blinded by the loss of glasses, and the other half sight being lost by the intensity of the shot, I have decided to call it a DAY.
P.S- please ignore the spelling mistakes of a poor, half-blinded, failing, sweating Engineer